| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|11:51 pm] |
yeah, thats my penis in your daily habit.
***for the record: kevin has genitalia. Ive seen them more than his ex-girlfriends, parents, and hookers he has visited. |
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| seoul, but just he sweet parts, like Highlights candles hidden in the tree bark |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|11:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | faded | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the new Atmosphere owns everything | ] |
WE hit lots of places.
But, the best was after the club. We left the club at 5am. MY homie mark found us a place to stay for free. The only catch was that it was with a student. WE didnt care and hopped into the taxi. Then we realized that we were staying with Nora, a student that is totally in love with Kevin. Its ok, she's like 21-23, but she is his student and thats kinda weird. Kevin started freaking out. We tried to calm him down, but shit, it didnt matter much because the cab was already moving.
WE get to her house, her condo. Its the Korean equivalent of Beverly HIlls. Very nice. Her family owns an entire floor (or 2) of this building. Her dad is a famous Korean actor. This makes her loaded, hot, and drunk. But still, Kevin resists. Maybe he lacks genitalia. Maybe he is very responsible and can wait 8 weeks to bone. Or maybe, he knows that she is a low level student, so when he pounds her she will say "Oh, very good sex having happy smile everyday time. Fuck good emotion have do I these days." And no no one wants to hear that while holding a nut..... actually, that seems pretty awesome.
Ladies, work on worsening your grammar.
Once we get to her place, she shows us our room. Me and kevin get the floor and Mark takes the bed. Some drinking and chatting, then I realize I have to release some piss. I complain "Aww, fuck. Its so dark, watch me bust my ass down these stairs." I walk down them with no problem.
I walked into the bathroom and immediately bust my ass. Not that 'oh, i kind of caught myself' fall, but that 'oh, fuck i am horizontal in the air' kinda fall. I landed on my back. Apparanently, Nora ran down and cleaned her bathroom for her unexpected company. She must have heard me yell or groan because she rushed in.
She looked at me prone on the bathoom floor, and then covered her face in the usually sexy Korean manner. She then ran upstairs to report to Kevin "I'm sorry, but youre roommate is sliding." She giggled. This made Kevin imagine me slipping and sloshing around the bathroom like a newborn penguin on some goddamn good arctic ice. So, my 2 co-workers died laughing instead of rushing to my aid.
Then, Nora, a very nice hostess (which in korean means prostitute, but thats not what I mean) returned to assist me. I thanked her and watched her ass shake as she left. Then, I pissed. Finally. Done, I went to flush the toilet. This contraption had a keyboard with at least a dozen keys that lit up. I pressed them all. I even tried holding one and hitting the rest. Nothing worked. My fresh piss just sat there mocking me.
I had to call Nora back in and explain my problem. She listened careffully, then calmy reached over and pushed the flusher down. Somehow I didnt see it. Its the same as an American toilet. All the fancy nobs are for the seat which heats up and maybe massages sore Koreans bums.
SO, this girl, who is a student at my school has seen a senior teacher at her school bust his ass and not know how to flush a toilet. They pay $12,000 for 12 weeks. Whenever I see her, she smiles, but I assume she is thinking of me prone on a wet floor or staring confused at a comode.
The next day her mom fed us a huge breakfats, then took us to Costco for shopping and things. |
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| hey jesus, |
[Oct. 2nd, 2005|10:40 am] |
im not sure youre real. and if youre real, im not sure that youre the son of god and all that stuff. however, im not sure that atoms or other galaxies exist, but I in believe that, so what do I got to lose...
can you please send the next devastating hurricane (or other area appropriate natural disaster) to Alabama? .. specifically where the Univ. of Alabama is?
It would mean a lot to me. Tell your pops I said whats up. |
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| sing a little Vonnegut |
[Sep. 30th, 2005|01:01 pm] |
I havent had it since summer. It comes and it leaves.
Today I dont have Hunter Thompson's disease.
and
Playboy: So, youre saying that you want to live with people exactly like you who think exactly as you do?
Vonnegut: No, thats too primitive. Im saying that i want to live around people who dont think at all, so i wouldnt have to either.
God bless him. |
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| korean ass, mothra, and everything else. |
[Sep. 28th, 2005|08:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chill | ] |
| [ | music |
| | paul wall, baby | ] |
korean women mostly have no ass. Its disturbing. On the subway you;ll see a b-cupped goddes an she turns around to reveal a concave poophole that even a g-string would not improve. After many a dissapointing session of ass-gazing, I have devised a theory. 1) they walk to much up and down stairs. Korea is built up and down, but not laterally. More elevators/escalators would make better asses. 2) theyre eating the wrong things. All Korean food is red. That means its all spicy. That means you will have to shit 5-6 times a day if youre on the korean diet. Rice helps as a sort of poop glue, but it is not enough. Them bitches need fried chicken and other straight-to-ass-foods. It should be noted that gravy and butter do not exist here as far as I can tell.
But, my fellow large ass lovers, there is hope. Remember the early nineties when white chicks started to develop asses? Well, that was about the time that vanilla ice and the beasties were coming on strong. So, perhaps if the Koreans start to embrace rap, then they will start to develop asses in the same way that plants grow better when music is played or how children become smarter if pregnant mothers read to their unborn baby lumps.
****
I used to think Mothra was a bitch. Like, why would fuckin godzilla, king of the badass made up monsters, even fuck around with this low-level sack of winged crap? I also wondered what threat Mothra posed? Would that bitch fly into a thrift store and gobble up all the bargain items? And how come Mothra never flew into the sun?
It turns out that in Asia, moths are no fucking joke. Them shits are jurassic park big and will come right for ya. They make screaming noises, like big ass butterflies with an agenda.
****
classes are still great. my roommate has lost his mind -- he speaks gibberish and avoids everyone and he wakes up at 4am. we're concerned he may stab us to death.
seoul was nuts. more on that later.
kevin update: hes good, great even. his students love him and laugh when someone calls him a teacher, but what he does is perfect for them. he has the low-level classes who just need someone to talk to.
I think I'll stay at least until feb 25th, thats when the 2nd term ends. Id like to stay for another term after that to pay for my Master's, but thats too far down the line to consider seriously.
my 2 new favorite korean proverbs: "the sky is tall and the horse is fat" -- this is used to explain why koreans are lazy in autumn.
"they just want to watch the rolling, fallen leaves" -- used negatively to explain people who are carefre.
soon: pics of seoul and our 2am dance parties w/ my neighbors. .... all I'm gonna say is....
THE MOTHERFUCKIN WALRUS IS INTERNATIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| you have no idea how much fun we've been having |
[Sep. 11th, 2005|08:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ice cube--100 dollar bill y'all | ] |
two things i never imagined that I'd be doing:
1. checking out japanese punk rock chicks in an Osaka subway station (Im still in love with that one wih the U.S. flag shirt -- Miss America).
2. sitting on top of a mountain explaining "the shocker" to a 32 yr old korean man.
classes start tomorrow. turns out I am teaching college aged kids. oops. |
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| yankee american cowboy jazz attitude |
[Sep. 5th, 2005|06:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | diarrhea | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my walkman broke | ] |
Well, me and kerwin are safeley nestled atop a korean mountain. beautiful view and beautiful weather.
theres about 15 other teachers here and each of them fall into one of the following categories: old and bitchy, slutty drunks, or young american badasses. My roomates are both ok. One is a huge former colege football player and he's been living here for 2 years. And the other is a nasally, middle-aged tennessee man who I like because he showed up with jack Daniels. When he talks, he is so nice and polite that you think he is being sarcastic. Kevin's only roommate so far is a 32 yr old from los angeles who thinks kevin and I are the only cool people here. he also has a ton of dough (I think) and is originally from korea. I imagine he will take us to seoul one weekend to buy some hookers and soju.
15 hour flights suck ass. Believe me. I saw the korean version of dirty dancing, except it ended fatally, which the original Dirty dancing should have done.
I may not write any letters because my handwriting is slower and than it used to be and nearly illegible. It depends how bored i get.Settle for postcards with pornographic drawings?
We may take a ferry to japan in 2 days to straightne some visa shit out, but theres that pesky typhoon.
My tenessee roommate walks around in his boxers and said "I'm totally into Bigfoot and UFO's." Damn, we feel bad laughing at him.
Kim Chi is served with every meal. My asshole hates me. We have no toilet seat or towels. The floors here heat up.
Everyone constantly bitches that they have no booze. I told them that this trip was my detox and they laughed like i was kidding.
When we walked into our dorm, it was completely bare except for a portrait-sized photo of Hans Solo, framed on the wall.
Tomorrow we learn our schedules and actual classes. I'll post more.
I may buy a laptop w/ my first check, any suggestions? I will just be downloading/burning music and using the Internet and Microsoft Word.
Holla. |
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| fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, youre cool, fuck you. Im out. |
[Sep. 2nd, 2005|10:49 am] |
if you want me to send you postcards, dirty drawings or korean porn fliers... email your address ajboothe@hotmail.com (this is also the place to send hate mail, love letters, and your own dirty drawings).
holla at ya boy. |
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| page one of the book of life |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|04:23 pm] |
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when you see a former teacher at a bar, approach him awkwardly and then buy him drinks. exchange numbers for an after party. |
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| "the only solution I can think of so far is to smash out the windows with a crowbar" |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|09:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | talkin honkey blues | ] |
Short Term Goal:
I'm gonna find a nice yound Korean girl with long nails and a gentle touch. She can follow me around and scratch my back. I will only teach her two phrases in English: 1) "You are awesome." 2) "Would you like me to fix you a grilled cheese sandwich?"
*****
I'm thinking that Buc65's "Talkin Honkey Blues" is horribly underrated. It sounds like if Leonard Cohen and Pete Rock got a house boat together. Goes well with booze and late night driving. |
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| be realistic |
[Aug. 26th, 2005|11:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
what would it cost for you to have sex on camera? for like a Web site/ dvd thing (think MILFHunter, Bangbus,We Live Together, etc).
I wouldnt proposition anyone who reads this, I'm just testing the waters. |
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| two weeks to kill |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|07:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | discovery channel | ] |
no job, no school, no girl, no money.
ideas?
Im even too bored to try to top my personal beat off record. |
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| um, why the fuck would the Boothe's have a partty? That's dumb. my friend. Simply idiotic. |
[Aug. 10th, 2005|07:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | a little pissed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | billy joel -- anthony's song | ] |
If I spoke to you today, yesterday, or last week, let me make one thing clear: THERE IS NO PARTY HERE ON FRIDAY NIGHT FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.
Now, I have no no idea what those obvious reasons are, but Im sure that someone does.
I think that Heather D and Kev Kunde will be here Fri night, although I will warn them that all they will get is a couch and a curfew, and maybe a stern finger shaking followed by an admonishment to get off the lawn. Kevin may be smart enough to avoid the weirdness. HD has come too far and maybe enjoys a good finger shaking too much to leave.
Heather D has preemptively suggested Neeka's(she still calls it The Golden Nugget). Did I mention that I love Heather? Anyone down? You can buy me birthday drinks.
So, We are all going to VD's Saturday. He'll yell at me for this, for a minute or two, then be glad to see us all. Thank god for folks like VD -- easy-going and never holding grudges. Laid back and fun. Just keep the ratio in mind. COllege kids all want sex and that drive diminishes somewhere between postgrad and never. |
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| be honest... |
[Aug. 10th, 2005|12:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | b. joel greatest hits 2cd (thanks Lo) | ] |
do any of you truly understand how much of a fucking badass billy joel is? or phil collins?
I expect zero replies... except maybe for csmitty going "wutang, wutang" or someone calling me a fag or kev kunde proposing to me.
I openly weep for the "No Personality" generation that some of you unknowingly belong to. (Hil, raise up!)
****
Josh -- I only want those books back if youre done. But I want them back as soon as possible. Perhaps a weekend thing at my place where we all sip cheap vodka and talk like hipsters who hate hipsters -- books, movies, music, and WB tv shows.
And I can give you new books, maybe just one..
Mullis - Thanks for the 'Polysyallabic Spree'. It makes me wanna read some new books (Hamilton looks fun). Ive never read a bad Hornby book ('Fever Pitch' doesnt count). Syrup is cool, Im only a quarter deep so far. I could not get into 'The Contortionists Hnadbook' after 20 pages. I'll give it another 20, but it seems too modern, which I find annoying and unneeccesarily flashy (see Foer). I refuse to even open 'Sock.' If someone asked whats the last book I read and I answered 'Sock' then I'd have to murder myself via pills and a revolver. I like Penn & Teller, but ony visually. Yes, Im picky enough to make distinctions.
****
Im working on something about artificial vaginas... tonight or tomorrow. |
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